I hate to be a downer. I’ll do just about anything to avoid talking about my own feelings and bringing the overall mood of a room down. Highs and lows? Highs only, from me … I don’t want to weigh you down with what is going on in here. There are a few venues when I let it out - a blog every now and then, or a reflection about childhood trauma during a specific event that calls for it. I’m not sure people are actually surprised I have feelings deeper than the happy exterior I put on, especially when I regularly wear a shirt that says, “It’s Fine. I’m Fine. Everything’s Fine.”
The thing is, even though the first 30 years of my life were pretty rough, the last several years have actually been really great. I’m married, I love my job, we have two houses (one of them full of pets) so I have space to fulfill whatever crazy projects come to mind at any moment, and I’m surrounded by people who encourage my creativity (for better or worse.)
When things were bad all the time, I was very well practiced at dealing with it. What no one warned me about as things got better, was that I needed to learn healthy coping mechanisms to handle the much more rare dark moments. It is one thing when you are gritting your teeth all the time and have built walls to protect you from the world. But when you are used to relaxing into the comfort of security and light, the same defenses aren’t there to guard you. Luckily, I work with great people who let me take time if something is going on and I don’t have to worry about pretending to be having a good day when I’m not.
It isn’t a coincidence that our Advent season is concurrent with the time of year when we get fewer and fewer hours of light each day. We spend the whole year with the sun warming us, helping our body produce Vitamin D, helping us grow crops, and providing light for us to see, and then we are plunged into darkness earlier and earlier each day. We are cold, our plants don’t grow, and even with all our modern technology, it is more difficult to get things done outside after the sun has set.
In the Bible, Adam and Eve have a great life and are used to God’s light on them all the time. When they are cast out of the garden, they experience darkness for the first time and are sure that God has abandoned them in the darkness. In a New Testament world, we know that through grace and love, we never have to worry about God leaving us, whether the sun is shining or not. We light our candles during Advent, as we approach the darkest nights of the year, to remind us of God’s light and presence. We gather together for worship and fellowship to remind us that we don’t have to bear the darkness alone.
As we approach Christmas, we rejoice in the fact that Jesus was born to bring light after the world had been dark for a long, long time. We rejoice that we are part of a community that will walk with us through our difficult times, even when we can’t see God’s presence for ourselves. And we rejoice we don’t have to pretend we’re ok when we’re really suffering.
Our Advent resources this year ask us to explore how a weary world rejoices. Reflection topics are posted on social media and printed resources are available at church. What is making you weary this season? How are you able to rejoice?
Yours in the darkness,
John