Thirty-eight minutes. Forty-three minutes. Eighty-seven minutes. These are all real commute times I have experienced since beginning my internship six weeks ago. I knew it was going to be a lot of time in the car and I wanted to maximize my efficiency. So I made a plan. You’ll learn that I am a really good plan maker. Not the best plan follower. I was going to use these five, six, eight hours of traveling a week to better myself for ministry. I was going to listen to the entire Bible. And grow my knowledge of Christian hymns and contemporary songs so that I can collaborate with John on worship music. Or listen to Christian classics by authors like Dietrich Bonhoeffer or C.S. Lewis. Maybe branch out into the various Christian podcasts to help me with my sermon preparation.
But honestly, that’s a lot of God. It’s probably heretical, but I can imagine Jesus asking, “Why are you so obsessed with me?”
By the time I hit the car in the afternoon, my mind is fried and I need this downtime. Most often, I just turn on some bumpin' music and drive. Or I might call someone, maybe catch up with a friend, or more likely my mom. Sometimes in the morning, I am more mentally awake and I listen to audiobooks through apps like Audible or Libby. But sometimes that’s the best time to catch up with my besties on their own thirty-eight-minute commutes. I’m learning that it’s not just ok to spend time outside of direct worship and prayer, it’s essential.
One book I have started is “Holy Unhappiness” by Amanda Held Opelt as recommended by Allison Perdue. In this memoir, Held Opelt discusses her Christian upbringing in the nineties and the way it shaped her expectations of the world. She was taught that God should be the focus of our lives and that when we center our life around God, God will bless us.
Her ministers took it a step further into “prosperity gospel” territory, a branch of Christianity that teaches God’s blessings are directly tied to our acts of faith: tithing, prayer, faith, service. The other side of the coin with prosperity gospel teachings is that if you’re not dedicated to God, especially in these matters, you will experience hardship and loss. Held Opelt talks about how she was taught that God was going to give her a husband that would be the answer to all her life’s needs and that as long as they centered themselves around God, it would be a glorious marriage. When she did that and still experienced the normal strife that comes in marriage and life, she thought she must not be dedicated enough to God and her husband.
She was shocked when her marriage counselor told her she needed to find some friends. However, over time she came to accept that as the best advice she ever received. When we expect all of our needs to be met by one person, we can suffocate that relationship and get burnt out, even in our relationship with God. It is healthy to explore interests and develop different friendships. It feeds our need for diversity, and we can go back with renewed devotion to God and our families.
So my commute doesn’t look like I expected it to. I’m not spending my drive listening to contemporary Christian music or readings of the Bible. I’m catching up on crime podcasts. I’m calling my mom. I’m dancing and singing along to bygone radio hits. This diversity of activities rejuvenates me and allows me to attune to God more fully in other moments of my life. It prevents burnout and empowers me to be truly present in those unspeakable moments when we ache so much we can’t even cry or perhaps can’t stop crying once we start. These moments away can be just as important as moments together. Even Jesus took time away from the daily grind of healing and teaching to call his parent and catch up (Luke 5:16). Perhaps calling my friends and family or singing along to Spotify’s playlists like “Songs to Sing in the Car” or “Classic Rock Drive” does make me a better minister.
And now, I’m left wondering how you will utilize your next drive to refresh your soul and prepare yourself to be truly present for all that life brings. Let’s grab a coffee to talk and maybe on the way, we can dance and sing or even call my mom.
May God’s peace be with you!
Pastor Laura Applegate, Seminary Intern