I don’t have all the answers. I can admit that now. My husband certainly knows and so do my co-workers. However, for a long time, I felt like I had to give the impression that I knew it all for my kids. I needed to be confident that I was leading them down the right path so they would feel secure. They couldn’t know that I had questions too or doubted my answers to some of their questions. This is even more true with my relationship with God. I wanted my children to follow Jesus but was afraid that I would mess it up if I didn’t portray confidence or if I professed that the Bible confuses me too.
I’m reading “Woven” by Meredith Miller about nurturing faith in our kids. She begins by talking about her complicated relationship with spiders. She is terrified of them, but she can’t bring herself to kill them even when they are in the house. She traps them for release when her kids find one while screaming inside. I can completely relate. When the kids or I found a spider in the house, I would confidently scoop it up in a cup, covering it with a piece of sometimes flimsy paper to show my kids that you shouldn’t be afraid. I would proclaim, “Spiders are good and eat other things we don’t like. They are one of God’s creatures.” As I did this, I was also internally yelling, please don’t accidentally touch me, move too quickly, or drop because I will scream as if a large bear was attacking me!
Meredith Miller goes on to explain that life is filled with many of these “I want to do it for my kids but it sure does make me uncomfortable” moments which are more serious than spiders. You feel discomfort or even fear, but it matters to you and the future of your kids, other people or your community.. This can be especially true of our relationship with Jesus and understanding the complexities of faith.
I have come to realize that admitting that I am scared or don’t have all the answers is the healthier way to live fully in Jesus. I needed to begin somewhere with our kids even if it made me a bit uncomfortable. I didn’t have to say the perfect prayer or fully comprehend Noah’s Ark as a good or tragic story to start teaching my kids (and myself) about Jesus. We don’t have to be able to recite Bible verses to understand what it means to follow Jesus. ELCA Lutherans follow Martin Luther’s tradition of questioning to dive deeper into where we are being called.
I learned about the power of “I wonder” statements from my years working in preschool. Kids have many questions. Giving it back to them to think about encourages them to explore further. When they ask, do turkeys fly, you can respond with, “Hmmm, I wonder if they do?” This can inspire dialogue and allow you to learn more about both of you. It’s more powerful than automatically giving the answer or allowing you to find the answer together.
Do you question if you have the expertise to share your faith? Can you wonder but still know that God is always walking with you as you learn? Can you start by praying for guidance? I bet you are already doing things that you experience as God’s goodness. Naming it out loud is a first step. We are invited to experience faith along with our family and community, but not expected to have all the answers. God constantly shows us that we aren’t meant to go it alone or face our spiders with bottled up fear.
Incredibly grateful that we are on this journey of faith together.
God’s peace,
Angie Seiller, Director of Faith Formation