As tears welled in her eyes, she said, “For 30 years as a teacher, I taught inclusion and empathy. I just feel like we are going backward.”
“I am an extreme introvert, and this is way beyond my comfort zone, but I feel that I need to do this. So many people have been rejected by family because of who they are” another woman told me as we brought up the last of the line of Pride marchers and as she carried her “free mom hugs” sign.
June is Pride Month. This past weekend we were part of Hamilton Pride which included a march and an afternoon filled with activities. Lord of Life hosted a booth with bubbles, stickers, and conversations about welcoming and affirming congregations. There were countless expressions of thanks. They didn’t know some churches affirm and accept LGBTQ+ people. They only knew disappointment and rejection by their church.
That’s what fear does. It robs us of deep connections and peace in knowing and affirming others as Jesus taught us and sharing that same affirming love with others. When we step beyond that fear, past the stereotypes, blanket assumptions, and our internal voice that wants to stand in judgment of a perceived wrong, we can find a sense of peace that is hard to comprehend.
As I have walked the long journey of outside acceptance with my family, friends, and church community, some people have had the courage to ask, “Why do we need a Pride month? Why do we have to have this flashy, big emphasis on the LGBTQ community? I am fine with loving the sinner and hating the sin, but this is too much.” I appreciate the opportunity to have a dialogue. I didn’t get it at first either. Learning more helps dissipate misunderstandings and fear.
Why Pride? It is because lives depend on it. There are youth that live in fear of being found out, or grappling with the idea that something is inherently wrong with them, or they have been rejected by their family and sadly, by their church family too. They are burdened that they must change to be palpable for a straight world. The fear, the hiding, the huge emotions that must be dealt with in isolation, can be devastating and life-altering. According to the Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ youth have an increased risk of suicide. Not because of who they are but because of how they are mistreated and stigmatized.
One gay man described his journey of coming out. If he could have experienced just one rainbow flag on a teacher’s desk or an example of a thriving, queer adult that he could look up to, it could have changed the years of fear and absence of trust that consumed his life. Sweeping it under the rug or erasing any signs of the LQBTQ+ community will not change who God created him to be. Imagine if those awful years were replaced by hundreds of examples of people living life to the fullest in a Pride parade or festival, or especially by a community of faith that shows affirming love. A community that drowns out the hate and fear with the message that Jesus loves all of us always, boldly, and unconditionally, just as we are.
Last night at the Service for Affirming and Healing, Rev, Suzanne LeVesconte of Trinity Episcopal in Hamilton described how she felt emotionally unsettled for days after peacefully standing in front of hate-filled protesters for just one hour at Hamilton Pride.
As an ally, her intense feelings came from one hour, can you imagine not just one hour but a week, a month, or years of this ugly messaging being hurled at you? We are complicit when we don’t stand up to hate. We need Pride.
Love IS stronger than fear and hate. Jesus is our ultimate example. The commands to love one another (John 13:34) and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:39) were given and modeled by Jesus. We don’t need to fully understand or think we are somehow betraying long-held beliefs. Step into love. Learn more. Affirm. Stand against fear.
Standing with you in love,
Angie Seiller, Director of Faith Formation
Pictured: Pastor Lowell Michelson and John Johns, Music Director, drowning the hate with messages of love.